I had lots of people ask me after my youngest was born if we were going to keep trying for a girl.
My answer was emphatically, "NO!"
Don't get me wrong. I think little girls are so cute and you can dress them up and take them to dance lessons. But, I have always loved little boys.
Geez. I love my boys.
I have a soon to be high school freshman who is so good at so many things. He loves to take things apart and fix them and put them back together. He loves learning about how things run. I fully expect him to be some sort of engineer. So, obviously he is very smart. And good lookin', too!
Then there is the almost 7th grader. He runs 5K's and plays the baritone in the school band. He is quite a character, you never know what might come out of his mouth!
And, of course, the Little Bit, that will be in 2nd grade next year. He loves to read and takes Karate lessons. He is growing up so fast!
Being a mother is not all that I am, but it is my mission in life. These boys. To raise them to be honest and true. To treat people well and love the Lord.
16 They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. 17 Sanctify them in the truth; Your word is truth. 18 As You sent Me into the world, I also have sent them into the world.
We don't shelter our kids from the world. After all, we do have to live in it. They do know how we feel about things and what we expect of them. They know that bad things happen; things that are difficult to explain and hard to handle. That life isn't fair. We try our best to teach them biblical principles for living our lives. To be a light in the darkness.
If you haven't read my very first two posts, you can catch up by reading them here:
They have watched us this past year and a half deal with loss of varying kinds, and gone through it with us as a family. They have seen how hard it has been and what we have done wrong and what we have done right. At least, I hope that we have done some of it right. There are a few people that know all the details and have said that we handled it with grace. Privately, I probably didn't show as much grace as I should have.
These boys amaze me. Their understanding of life situations and the effects there have been on us as a family. Their sincerity and love for us and for each other. When my husband had the opportunity to go to work for a lot of money somewhere, but would never be home; they didn't see the point in having all that money if he wouldn't be with us to enjoy life. That made us so proud.
This blog has been an outlet for me. I can be creative and weird and share that here. I don't have to be the one that has handled all the hard stuff. But, if I want to share, I can. So, I am!
There will be more grief and loss coming. My Father In Law has Stage 4 lung cancer and treatment has been discontinued. His pain is being managed by a hospice and it appears to be progressing quickly.
My children will lose both grandfathers in less than a year.
Life is hard. Life is wonderful.
We mourn. We rejoice.
We teach our children that we live through it all, and we do it with through the grace of Jesus Christ.
It doesn't have to define us, but it does change us.
And, that is okay.